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100% No Way

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The saying goes “Never complain, never explain” and I’ve learned over the years that it’s a good motto, but on this occasion it’s only fair I apologise for the radio silence. I haven’t posted in a long time as in between setting up my coaching practice, and my husband setting up his company Juggle (that’s a whole other topic), we had a beautiful baby girl. So it’s been a wonderful but busy time and all the parents out there will know that most days are about keeping going rather than doing any ‘extras’. Writing, to an extent, is an extra but I’ve missed it as I love it and find it really cathartic.

So here I am committing to write regularly again. My thoughts today are around journeys. It could be the fact that I’m on the train from Dublin to Belfast and despite the awful flooding of late, the view out of the window is stunning. So peaceful and calm looking out over the sea. It could also be the fact that my friend and mentor Marian Byrne has recently published her first book. Either way, today I write.


I’ve learned so much over the last two years but I think the biggest eye opener for me has been that what we hold to be 100% true, sometimes isn’t. Our beliefs are often just what we believe at the time. Nothing is set in stone. We can always change our minds and allow our minds to open to new possibility. For me it’s the big advantage of growing up. Lots of people hate their birthday or dread ageing. So far I love it. The older I get, the happier I feel. Taking a risk a couple of years ago has paid off. It’s pushed me right out of my comfort zone and into a journey full of opportunity and potential. My mother told me the other day that I was born under a lucky star. While I know I’m lucky in many aspects of my life, heartache and pain hits us all, and I work hard to make my own luck. I don’t sit and wish or complain. Well I’ll take that back a bit. I don’t sit and complain anymore. I get up and do something about it. I recall starting several conversations with my husband with “I’ll never”, “I can’t”, “We won’t”. This man believes in me more than I believe in myself and loves to smile knowingly at me when “I do”, “I can”, “We will”. I think I didn’t realise that when I was doubting myself and drowning in my self-imposed limiting beliefs, I didn’t understand that I would change and grow and learn. I would mature. I wouldn’t be my 15 year old self, or my college self, or my single self, forever. Life doesn’t stand still. It relentlessly moves whether you like it or not and whether you recognise it or not. It’s the benefit of hindsight to an extent but I feel I’ve reached a point where I am more conscious of my learning in the moment. I can see very obvious evidence of how I am different now to what I was like before. I handle situations better, more positively and the biggie for me…I take things less personally. I learned about The Four Agreements ages ago but I realise that I’ve only recently applied what I learned. And that’s what I mean by a journey. Everything moves and changes and develops. Whatever you think 100% you can’t do, might just change one day. Through actions you consciously take, through stuff that happens to you outside of your control, you’re never quite the same again and so this means your “100% no way can I…” might one day turn into “well maybe I could”.

When I left my secure well paid job two years ago to try something new, my husband gave me a bottle of champagne with a personalized message on it. It said “This is the First Day”. It made me cry at the time and I never really understood why. We finally drank it on our daughter’s first birthday. It hadn’t felt right before. I didn’t know what it was the first day of. He could see the potential in me that I couldn’t. It took me two years to catch up. I’m sure he’ll smile when he reads this bit. I know now that it was the first day in a new journey. And I know even more that every day has the opportunity to be a new journey. We just need to open up a little, have good people around us, and take that leap of faith.

So my question for you is what journey will you start today? Where can it take you? What would that be like?